6 months next wednesday!

Marijuana Addict left a comment on day 15 of this blog to ask how I'm getting on so I guess it's time to give an update!

First of all, sorry for not posting in AGES! My last post was back in December! Yikes. Well the good news is that I'm still off the weed - it's gonna be 6 months on wednesday! I'm actually feeling really proud of myself. I don't miss it in the slightest, I don't think about it that often. The only time I kinda miss it is when I want to watch a movie - that's such a big association for me. Get stoned and watch a good movie - it was one of my favourite things to do so I just don't really watch movies on my own any more. I generally just get bored and turn them off. So what else - I'm still seeing my lovely new girl friend. It's been about 4 and a half months now and things are going really well. We are just back from a lovely 4 day holiday in Italy, that was brilliant fun - she's so easy to get along with, she's tenacious, not afraid of anything, confident, completely un-shy and generally great! I'm learning a lot from her and I feel so motivated about life right now. She's just the perfect person to have in my life at the moment. It also helps that she's not into stoners! I really don't think she'd tolerate me going back on the weed, she'd show me the door pretty quick! and it's not just cuz of her that I'm still off the weed - I really feel motivated for myself to stay off it. Life is way better with out it.

I do have one confession though. I'm back on the smokes! Shortly after I quit the weed I found myself smoking the odd one which turned into me buying the odd pack, now I'm on them full time. I do intend to quit them too though, they seemed to just creep into my life - like at parties and stuff when people were smoking joints I'd have a cigarette instead. So that's how I rationalised it to myself! My girlfriend smokes too, so that deffo doesn't help!! I'm going to a music festival in the UK next month - so my plan is to quit after that.

So what else have I been up to? Well, I did a "Start your own business" course over the last 2 months or so. That was real interesting - not that I'm going to start my own business any time soon, but I just wanted to know what's involved if I did. Something for the future I guess.

Work is going okay at the moment - I was a bit pissed off with it recently, I guess that's why I did the course, but it's going okay again now - I tend to get waves dissatisfaction with my job, but it's okay for the moment. I'm currently trying to buy a house or an apartment - but I've also to get out of debt to before I can realistically do that. I'm working on that slowly but surly!

Okay so that's it for now, I hope you all are in good spirits and keep off the grass!

Biff x

5 days until 2 months!

Hello!

Sorry for not posting in ages, I can't even remember exactly how many days I've been off the weed - had to look at my calender there and I see 2 months will be coming up in 5 days! So that'll do!

Well, I've had a roller coaster ride for the last week and a half starting the Friday before last. I met up with my 2 old smoking buddies that had quit with me. They decided to score some hash cuz they really wanted to, so they did. We were at the pub at the time. Anyway - that was fine, I didn't smoke any. But we were going to a party later in my friends amazing studio. There are loads of creative people working there like 5 photographers, architects, graphic designers, artists, all in this huge space in town. They were having their Christmas party. So I went along and had the best time. Such good fun, Loads of people were smoking joints and doing coke and stuff like that, but I wasn't having any of it, just wasn't interested in the slightest. I got real drunk though. Then towards the end of the night I sat down beside a guy I know and was chatting to him when I noticed that one of his mates, a girl and her mate were also beside us. I started talking to the girl, and I was really really drunk and in a great mood, so I just kept blabbing and the conversation was coming so easy and we were slagging each other and having a laugh, then we were sitting right beside each other and talking, then we were kissing. I couldn't believe it! All so bloody naturally and easy!! I was drinking a bottle of mulled wine which I had found in the kitchen, which must have impressed her no end!! Ha ha, yeah right. Anyway, we ended up back at her place, no need to go into detail hear! We hung out for a bit on the Saturday and turns out she was having a party in her place that night. So me and my mate went along at like 2am and had a good old laugh, we knew a few people there so it wasn't to awkward! I stayed over again and we spent all of Sunday together. She's an amazing girl, I really really like her. So the week passed with lots of texts and emails and I got to see her again last Friday. We went out to a gig and I met some more of her mates then we wet for a pint in a club then we ended up at my place. We spent most of that Saturday together again until I had to go out to my sisters for a birthday dinner thing. After that I called into her place and stayed over. We spent all of the Sunday together and went out for dinner and a drink, then went back to her place and watched a movie and I got a cab home.

It has been the most intense relationship I've ever been in. We both really seem to like each other and simply can't get enough of each other!! It's totally amazing.

She works down the country a bit and has a mad job where she's really busy all the time so she's only really getting back up to Dublin at the weekends for now. But tomorrow she's coming up for the night, straight to my place. I can't wait. What a girl, I'm totally smitten.

Anyway - that's certainly keeping my mind off the weed!! Shes a bit of a casual smoker - like at the parties we were at she'd smoke a bit if one was passed to her, but she wouldn't be rolling any and she doesn't have a stash (that I know of anyway!!)

So that's it, sorry I haven't been posting more but I'm all over the place at the moment and feeling great about everything and just getting on with life. I can't believe the difference a month and a half can make. Thanks to everybody for all the support. You're all awesome.

I'll leave you with Ween - Fiesta. It's from their new album and it sums up my mood at the moment! It's a live recording so the sound ain't great! Sorry!

Month 2 day 13

I don't belive I posted yesterday!

Thats gotta tell you something! Sorry!

I guess I'm feeling good about stuff! Well I got all these new emotions going on. I'm all worried about this canadian chick - but now I'm cool with that - and as aupermami says if it works out well then great if not fuck it. I can dig that. I've been talking to this cool girl from texas in the last few days - she's really great, pity she's in dallas though! Damn it - I could go for a southern belle!

I'll give my Canadian friend a chance though cuz she's only new to Ireland and only settling in and all.

I was in my friends gaf earlier tonight and consumed 2 bottles of wine. Am I an alco? I dunno. Probably not. I'm still keeping an eye on it. I am drunk though! Sorry. At least it means I'm posting.

Thanks supermami - I might need a call girl- the way things are going! Loads of potential action but none surfacing!!

Anyway I hope I'll keep on posting in my blog - I just think it's not really needed anymore - I seem too be over all of my immediate withdrawal stuff and I don't know what I have left to offer.

I'm just getting on with regular life now as far as I can tell like any other normal human. I really don't see what else I can do for anyone. It's just the way I feel.

If people feel they can learn from my post weed antics well then I'm happy to keep on posting. But maybe you'd be better off reading The Ninja's blog or something? I dunno - I just feel I don't really have anything to give.

Maybe except for my super taste in music!! Ha ha.

Ween - Voodoo Lady

Month 2 Day 11

Okay, I'm still on tender hooks waiting for my Canadian girl to get back to me. Still no word. I was getting really pissed off earlier. The mail I sent her was the first one I sent to her own personal email account as apposed to through the dating site - so I was just concerned that technology let me down. So I said feck it and just mailed her on the dating site to see what the story was. At least that way I can actually see if and when she reads my email. So if she doesn't get back to me after reading this one I know that's it and I shall just forget about it. Sure we'll see what happens.

I'm feeling soooo much better now after sending that mail. The not knowing was killing me!

I really feel like crap today - I'm getting a cough thing and it kept me awake last night, so I'm really tired, a bit stressed from girl stuff, and just feel a bit sick from this cold thing.

Justice ft Uffie - The Party

Month 2 Day 10

I still feel gross today. I'm a bit hungover still and just not in a great mood. I'm a bit anxious about the girl I met on Thursday. I sent her an email yesterday and still haven't heard back from her. I know i only sent it yesterday but I think she should have gotten back to me already. I just have this bad feeling that thats it. She is just settling into her new life so I have to be patient I guess. I'm just not a very patient person when it comes to stuff like this. I really like her is the problem, I just really want to see her again and the thoughts of her not being interested in me is making me feel sick. I haven't been this interested in a woman in bloody years and years so no wonder it's freaking me out a bit! Okay - I'm just gonna have to relax about it.

I've been in a dodgy mood - but I still had a good day. I slept well and vegged out for a good while in the morning - then I went out to buy a pair of pants and ended up buying a bicycle for myself! I was gonna buy one anyway but didn't expect to get one so soon - aw well, I'm glad I did. It's nice. Then I headed over to a mates house for some dvds and a nice sunday dinner. Delicious!

Okay time for maybe the best band of all time!

The Pixies - Where Is My Mind (Live 1988)

Month 2 Day 9

What a difference another day makes!

I'm in bits today after a night of debauchery on the town. I went out last night still in a brilliant mood form the night before. Me and some friends met up early in a heavy metal bar! That was cool - haddn't been there in ages! We had a few pints there and then headed to another bar where there was an art show on that my friend had a piece in - there were bands playing too - that was really good fun and I was quite drunk in the later stages of the night - so me and one of my mates each took a hit of extacy! My god - I haven't done that in years! I guess - I'm off the weed, but I still feel like I shouldn't have done that - it's substituting one thing for another essentially. And the boozing too - that has to be reduced, I don't mind drinking a bit when out with my friends, but I've been overdoing it a lot in the last few weeks. Not so good. Okay learn from my mistakes - onward and upward I say!

It's now 11pm and I'm still feeling like total crap. My arms are sore for some reason, I've a headache, my jaw is sore from clenching and I'm just wiped out. Doing that E was a bad call.

Okay I need a nice clam song today!

Lali Puna - Middle Curse

Month 2 Day 8

Hello hello hello,

Well what a difference a day makes - Remember that girl I was talking about that I really liked and I thought I scared off - well as predicted "Wait till you see - she'll get back to me tomorrow!" - she ceratinly did! I got a mail off her just before I was leaving work saying she was in dublin on business and do I want to meet up for a pint? She left her number - so I rang her and we did indeed meet up! I really didn't expect to be going out on a date last night - it was good that it was spur of the moment so I didn't have time to worry about it or get anxious about it! Anyway - turns out she was just off the plane from canada!! She is an absolutly wonderful girl and I'm completely smitten with her. She's a geologist and works all over the world doing crazy stuff. She's clever, good fun, determined, outgoing, emotionally stable, and just lovely. She's off down the country today to start her job so who knows when I'll get to see her again :(

I really hope we can hang out some more. I wish I had been able to pluck up the courage to go for a kiss - I just couldn't and I'm a bit pissed off with myself for not even trying. Damn it - aw well if there is a next time I will.

I'm in a brilliant mood today and everything just feels right with my life. I'm soooooo glad I stopped smoking - if I didn't I'd still be a complete mess! I'm going out now to meet some mates for a good night of fun on the town.

Have a great friday ya'll!!

Okay some friday night party music for ya!

Justice - New Jack